I haven't posted for 3 months now, I guess I just didn't feel like it..

In my last post I asked myself "am I scared from the world"? Is MY WORLD CLOSING UP?
Well, yeah, I felt kinda scared and insecure in the past period and I can not say that my feeling is gone now.. And when you feel like that, you usually don't wanna share much.. I think that's common.

Well, what hapenned? Well, 2 things mainly:
1. Got sick and injured my knee (again!)
2. Had to take a decision for my future
Whole month of June I was sick. I got the "mumps", bad virus to get when you are 25 :P This made me realize how much I miss home. As I got better, my weak knee twisted! I was asking myself, "why is this hapenning to me"? Keeping a positive mindset was difficult cause I haven't even recovered from the mumps and I can not walk. Sounds kinda funny :)
Second, my future was uncertain about staying in Groningen. I had to take a decision if I continue to work with the company for minimum one more year or leave on October. My job is cool, but my heart is somehow not there! And missing a month from work in a crucial period affected many personal deadlines. So, work was tough also.

On the bright side, I was very happy that my parents came to visit me for 10 days on July, bringing Martina here (with her mom:). Oh, that experience was intense! :D Eventually, the parents left and me and Martina spent the whole summer together. We travelled a lot, visited friends and went through many difficult, but somehow comical situations together (like, missing our flight Lisbon-Prague:). Again, meaningful experience for both us that brought us even closer.

So, after a lot of reflection, I decided not to continue my contract here in NL and go back to Macedonia! :)
The plan is to stay 1-2 years, gain professional experience, learn the market on the Balkan region and look for investment opportunities, while preparing for my MBA.
Of course, my favorite part comes that I can enjoy the presence of my family and friends and finally be with Martina in Skopje after 2 years of long distance relationship! (sigh..:)

As you can see, digesting CHANGE is not easy. but I am looking forward to it now! even I changed the template of my blog for a change :)

My world was indeed closing up, I didn't feel the inspiration to write on my blog. I probably felt insecure about many things. And it takes courage to speak out! Well, this post was also not easy for me.
But I guess this is the voice of a simple human going through journey of life. Ups and downs, joy and sorrow, doubts and determination.
I feel scared and excited in the same time.

And what about you? How have you been lately?
Friends, beside family is one of the most important thing that keep your world open. I would love to hear from you.

Warm regards,
Toni

ps. I am also happy that I released "PimpYourBeanBag" promo campaign, the project I was working on in the past 4 months. You can see more on: www.pimpyourbeanbag.blogspot.com and the website is coming very soon!

Loud thinking

Hey people,

How have you been lately?
How do you feel?

I find the last question very interesting and honestly, sometime intense question to answer if you seriously give it a thought.
Today, I am grateful to be asked "how do I feel" from Cisco, my portugese friend and that made think deeper and write this post.

Hmm.. How do I feel? Well, lets see.

I am starting to realize that when you start thinking about money your worldview changes. The world is becoming a jungle where you need to survive, people just see other people out of interest and they do not truly mean the question "How are you?" when they ask. And the worst part is that you also get used to saying, "yeah, I feel great, thanks. Whay about you?!" but your answer comes automatically and you are also used to that answer. But, the truth is that we don't really feel like sharing and we are just closing and suppressing our deep feelings inside.

I started thinking about this, when I noticed that I haven't posted on my blog since March. Not having the NEED to share with the world, made me ask myself the question, am I scared from the world? Is MY WORLD CLOSING UP? and why is that?
I can find some reasons in the above paragraph..

Another thing which I realized how important it is, is to "enjoy the journey to the destination and not only reaching the destination, itself". I remember Dey's final speech on IC in Turkey 2007, talking about enjoying the beauty of the road while reaching the final destination.. I would add to that: "while working on your long term goals". Balancing between "momentary pleasures" and "gratification" is very important.

Well, all that is nice, but how am I?
Despite of fighting in the jungle and trying to survive in the cruel world, I can say I am doing fine.. I can always do better..

I am grateful for having a job that gives me a lot of "responsible freedom" as I call it. I am experiencing "intrapreneurship" and it's really cool. Learning by doing and observing a small company grows is amazing experience to have. All my gratitude to my boss, Halbe, who is true entrepreneur and gave me this opportunity.
Apart from that, I watch the NBA playoffs and read "Dreams from my father-Barrack Obama" in my free time. Not to forget that I spend most of my social time with Jirka and Mehmet, my Czech and Turkish friend :)
The future looks very exciting as well. Spending the summer with Martina while working on getting her internship somewhere around, so we can be together all the time..

Anyways, I wish you a good night and I'd be glad to hear from you soon.
What's up with your reflection lately?

T.

Meeting at the "G spot" :D

Hey what's up world? :)

Well, I haven't posted in some time now, but it was really intense and exciting past period.. I feel so excited to go to Skopje and spend almost a month in Macedonia with my dearests.

Since I came back in Groningen (on 5th Jan) many cool things hapenned. I executed the Strategic Meeting for my company, I developed my sales and strategy plan and I started attending business meetings with possible purchasers of our new line of products.
And of course in meanwhile going for weekends in Amsterdam for fun with friends or with collegues for business :)

Talking about friends, I feel that I met really cool people that are becoming good friends of mine. They are becoming one of the most important part of my experience here in the Netherlands. After work dinners, going on the Monday LC meeting, saying "good night" before a tough working day the next day.. and sharing all that experience in a humoruous and caring way :)
We usually meet in the student flat building on our 6th floor, which is also called the "G" floor. Because of alphabetic naming as well :)
All in all enjoying life and dreaming about the future with my love in late night Skype conversations. I am soooo looking forward to my coming back in Macedonia, I just can't wait to cuddle with Martina, chill with my brother and have nice food with my parents :D

This is what has been hapenning with me lately, I hope to see you or hear from you soon, what's up with your lifes? :)

Enjoy your Saturday evening.

Warm greeting from Groningen,
Toni

Value Driven Organizations!

One of my main work responsibility in the previous 3 months was preparing and facilitating the Strategic Meeting of my company, here in the Netherlands. As I described in one of my previous posts (post: "Strategic Planning Process"), it was a pleasure for me to read and learn about different Strategic Organizational Tools and to customize their approach in order to get the most out of our "SM". In the end, the approaches I chose to use, were: "Appreciative Inquiry" and "Value Driven Organizations".

You have probably heard about "Appreciative Inqiry" - organizational tool that is about search for the BEST in people, their organizations, and the relevant world around them. It affirms and builds on what is positive and strong about an organizational culture – what it gives LIFE. In its basic form, Appreciative Inquiry is a guided process for creating meaningful and transformational conversations; But in this post I want to write more about the approach of "Building a Value Driven Organizations". The author of the book, Richard Barret gave me this book on the "EBBF Annual Conference" on September 2007. He is also the author of the well known book "Liberating the Corporate Soul".
His approach is based on "whole system change" where he connects the development of an individual with the development of organizations.
"Whole-system change begins with a shift in the personal cosciousness of individuals and ends with a shift in the groups actions and behaviours. Organizations don't transform. People do!"
He starts with describing the 7 levels of Personal Consciousness (an extension of "Maslov hierarchy of needs") and goes into 7 level of Organizational Consciousness. Each level focuses on particular excistential need that is natural to the human condition. Indivudual and Organizations grow in consciousness by learning to master the satisfaction of these needs.
The 7 levels are the following:
Level 1: "Survival" - satisfying our physicial needs
Level 2: "Relationship" - feeling safe, respected and loved
Level 3: "Self-esteem" - feeling a sense of personal worth
Level 4: "Transformation" - finding freedom by letting go of our fears about survival, feeling loved and being respected by our peers.
Level 5: "Internal Cohesion" - finding personal meaning in existence
Level 6: "Making a difference" - making a positive difference in the world
Level 7: "Service" - leading a life of selfless service.

The "basic" needs (levels 1 to 3) focus on our personal self-interest or meeting the needs of the EGO. The "higher" needs (levels 5 to 7) focus on our spiritual needs or meeting the needs of the SOUL. The focus on "level 4" is transformation - a shift from self-interest to common good. This is where the ego learns to let go of its fears so that it can become ONE with the soul.
The fears of the EGO lead us to believe that we do not have enough of what we need. Consequently, we are never fully happy because we do not have enough money, love or respect. Individuals who focus exclusively on the satisfaction of the lower needs, tend to live self-centered, shallow lives. On the other hand, individuals that focus on satisfying exclusively on the satisfaction of the higher needs tend to lack the necessary skills to operate effectively in the physical world. Or with other words, "they are not grounded".
To be successful in the world we need to learn how to master the satisfaction of all our neefs so we can operate from full-spectrum consciousness. The successful mastery of each stage involves two steps: first, becoming AWARE of the emergent need and second, developing the skills that are necessary to satisfy the need. And this personal approach is translated into 7 levels of Organizational Consciousness.

One of my main goals of my company's Strategic Meeting was to bring "awareness" about "where are we now?", where do we want to go? (Appreciative Inquiry) and "what do we need to get there" (strategy).
The first 2 days were a great success, where we answered the first 2 questions and now this week comes the time for the third question, which will also determine my near future.. Well, let's see what will happen, I'll keep you updated in some of my next posts! :)
By the way, reading this book made me reflect about the level of personal consciousness I operate and made me aware about where should I improve..

From which levels of consciousness do you mostly operate?

anTONIo

Life..

Keeping you updated with my life story..

In the past month many exciting things happened. My brother came in Groningen, Martina finished her semestar in Bruges and I went back to Macedonia for a week and spent my New Year's Eve with my dearests..

I haven't seen my brother for about 4 months and I was very excited to welcome him in Groningen and have a great time together. I love my brother. Me and him are very different in character and we used to fight a lot when we were younger, but he has always been one of the most important people in my life.. and our connection grows stronger each day..
We had really exciting road trip to Belgium. We rented a car and went in Bruges to spend a weekend with Martina and after we took her to the Brussels airport.
We spent Christmas (Catholic) with my collegues at work where we played volleyball and had a dinner together. The last days (26 Dec) we went to visit Amsterdam and Hague and met with a Iva, a macedonian friend that lives and works in Eindhoven.
We were both back in Macedonia on the 28th December.

Ah.. Coming back to Skopje, spending time with my family, seeing my friends, spending time with Martina in her house.. Going back to my country for a defined period of time always awakes mixed feelings. Happiness, excitement, confusion, sadness when I have to leave.. I love Skopje! It is my favorite city! I always experience an irreplaceable warm feeling of safety and love when I am there..
I spent New Year's Eve at Martina's house with Frane (my brother) and his girlfriend and Marko (one of my best friends) and his girlfriend. For me it was amazing! I had tears in my eyes holding Martina tightly in my arms during the countdown of the NY. We had such an amazing 4 months together in Belgium and NL and we did everything to be together for NY's Eve.
Last days of my stay in Skopje were in family atmosphere watching movies and cuddling with Martina :)
I had to go back in the Netherlands on the 5th Jan and I couldn't spend Christmas with my family, but that's ok.. It is always hard to leave Skopje, but I had to be stron! I had an exciting week in front of me! Execution of the "Strategic Meeting" for which I was preparing for more then 3 months.

In the midst of all this happenings, I reflected on my life in 2008 and thought of my priorities in 2009. I defined 3 main areas where I want to focus this year:
HEALTH; MONEY; LOVE

Well, now I am back in Groningen and this month is very important for me from Career/Money aspect, so I'll keep you updated what will happen ;)

By the way, which areas you want to spend your time in this 2009?

Warm hugs from Groninen,
anTONIo

Society and OUR Life!

We are born.. Our parents take care of us, they teach us what is right, what is wrong, we go to school, teachers reward us for studying hard, they punish us for not doing our home work. The society influences us by its voice of telling us what should and shouldn't we do. And for that we get certain rewards (it doesn't have to be in material form) or get punished.
The essence of socialization is to make people dependent on social controls, to have them respond predictably to rewards and punishments. And the most effective form of socialization is achieved when people identify so thoroughly with the social order that they no longer can imagine themselves breaking any of its rules.
Our experience as humans becomes externalized while we are being dragged from one corner of the street to another longing to become something that the "outside" world expects from us!
In a complex society, many powerful groups are involved in socializing, often pulling us to contradictory goals. On the one hand, official institutions like schools, banks, try to turn is into responsible citizens willing to work hard and save. On the other hand, we are constantly called from advertisers and manufacturers to spend our earnings on products that will produce most profit for them. Finally, the undergroung system of forbidden pleasures, run by drug dillers, gamblers, pimps (which is (in)directly linked with the official institutions) promises its own rewards - provided that we pay. The messages are very different, but their outcome is essentially the same: they make us dependent on a social system that exploits our energies for its own purposes.

IS THIS ALL THERE IS?

There is no question that to survive it is necessary to work for external goals and to postpone immediate gratifications. But a person does not have to be turned into a puppet dragged through life by social controls. My believe is that we should gradually become free of societal rewards and learn how to substitute with rewards that are under OUR powers, by developing set of our own goals. If a person learns to enjoy and find meaning in the ongoing stream of experiences, in the process of living itsels, the burden of social controls falls from our shoulders. Before all else, achieveing control over experience requires a drastic change in attitude in WHAT IS IMPORTANT and what is NOT?
When is the last time we have reflected on WHAT WE VALUE in life? Are the things that I am doing now connected with WHAT TRULY MATTERS to me?
Understanding "what we truly want" makes our lives much simpler and focused in our pursue of happiness and fulfillment.
As I had in my first post on September "So far..", I focus my attention into putting my efforts 3 areas: Career, Family (+Martina) and Friends. I believe, being successful in each area will get me closer to self-fullfilment and happiness..

Which are the area's you want to spend "your hours" of life?

anTONIo

Life..

It has been an intense period for me in the past 20 days..

Lots of travelling, meeting people, listening lectures, enjoyinga with Martina.. :)

Since the last month I attended the TBLI Europe Sustainable Development Conference in Amsterdam (tbli.org), been to Bruges, Zagreb, Brussels and back to Groningen..

The TBLI Conference was really interesting. 600 people from more then 20 countries were talking about Socially Responsable Investments and implementing Environmental Social and Governance policies within the financial institutions. Many Rating Agencies and Stock Exchange representatives were there :)
I enjoyed the interesting discussions about the: "The role of the Financial sector in addressing the climate change?" and "How will the Credit Crisis affect the investments in the Sustainable Development initiatives?"
The funny moment was when me and Martina attended the Grand Dinner of the conference :) Big round table with candels, me and Martina accompanied, with US Austrian couple talking about combining family and business.. :))

Afterwards, I met my parents in Zagreb, Croatia and I had incredible time with them :) Talking about different topics while being very excited to see each other.. :)
I haven't seen them for more then 2 months and I kinda started missing them..

My favorite part came when I met Martina in Brussels! <3
We were about to attend workshop about "Value Driven Leadership" and meet with good friends from Paris and Brussels.
This workshop was special for both of us because we got to know each other on a different way, discussing about what is important for us and enabled us to reconnect stronger.. I enjoy every moment with her <3

Now, I am back to Groningen and about to go to Zagreb tomorrow! :)
Several events that made me think about different things and I am packed to go! :)

I am looking forward to Frane and Martina coming in Groningen and have a great time together! And also to designing the content of the Strategic Planning Process that starts on beg of January..

It's exciting it's interesting it's great!

anTONIo