We are born.. Our parents take care of us, they teach us what is right, what is wrong, we go to school, teachers reward us for studying hard, they punish us for not doing our home work. The society influences us by its voice of telling us what should and shouldn't we do. And for that we get certain rewards (it doesn't have to be in material form) or get punished.
The essence of socialization is to make people dependent on social controls, to have them respond predictably to rewards and punishments. And the most effective form of socialization is achieved when people identify so thoroughly with the social order that they no longer can imagine themselves breaking any of its rules.
Our experience as humans becomes externalized while we are being dragged from one corner of the street to another longing to become something that the "outside" world expects from us!
In a complex society, many powerful groups are involved in socializing, often pulling us to contradictory goals. On the one hand, official institutions like schools, banks, try to turn is into responsible citizens willing to work hard and save. On the other hand, we are constantly called from advertisers and manufacturers to spend our earnings on products that will produce most profit for them. Finally, the undergroung system of forbidden pleasures, run by drug dillers, gamblers, pimps (which is (in)directly linked with the official institutions) promises its own rewards - provided that we pay. The messages are very different, but their outcome is essentially the same: they make us dependent on a social system that exploits our energies for its own purposes.
IS THIS ALL THERE IS?
There is no question that to survive it is necessary to work for external goals and to postpone immediate gratifications. But a person does not have to be turned into a puppet dragged through life by social controls. My believe is that we should gradually become free of societal rewards and learn how to substitute with rewards that are under OUR powers, by developing set of our own goals. If a person learns to enjoy and find meaning in the ongoing stream of experiences, in the process of living itsels, the burden of social controls falls from our shoulders. Before all else, achieveing control over experience requires a drastic change in attitude in WHAT IS IMPORTANT and what is NOT?
When is the last time we have reflected on WHAT WE VALUE in life? Are the things that I am doing now connected with WHAT TRULY MATTERS to me?
Understanding "what we truly want" makes our lives much simpler and focused in our pursue of happiness and fulfillment.
As I had in my first post on September "So far..", I focus my attention into putting my efforts 3 areas: Career, Family and Friends. I believe, being successful in each area will get me closer to self-fullfilment and happiness..
Which are the area's you want to spend "your hours" of life?